A year in any person’s life is measured by a number of markers, we don’t just hold with the period running from January 1st to December 31st. As our birthday roles around once more we marvel that another year has passed. Similarly the birthday of a loved one or a friend. The arrival of a wedding anniversary brings with it the customary jokes about surviving yet another year. And let’s not forget Christmas, bringing with it declarations that the year has flown by. All reasons to celebrate, days to remember and mark accordingly.
Then there are those days that loom on the horizon. The anticipation all too different. The days that you wish would drop from the calendar to be forgotten forever. But they can’t. They are a part of us, just as much as those days of joy. They have helped to define us as the person we are, and are still to become. They shape us and mould us in a much more profound way. Teach us about our unknown strengths. We mark them not with cake and balloons and revelry, but with silence, and very often tears.
So just for today I will allow the tears to flow. Tears for the hugs that are no more. Tears for the advice I long for but can’t receive. Tears for the achievements that can’t be seen. Tears for the cakes that can’t be eaten. Tears for the missing face at the table. Tears for those last precious moments. Tears for the cold and fragile hand within mine. Tears that each new tomorrow can’t be shared.
And tomorrow, well tomorrow will be a whole year away from today. Tomorrow, I hope, will bring with it new reasons to smile.